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The skill of saying 'no'
Positive Push #5
For those who know me, know that I am a people connector.
It’s a strength that I realised not so long ago and that I am learning to embrace.
I can’t really explain it, when I am with someone I often immediately make the connection to whom I can connect this person with.
And I do it.
Most of the time, on the spot. 😅
But recently I found myself reflecting as someone directly asked me, via message to connect him with someone I know.
Without any « please » or politeness in the message.
Just a very direct ask.
And guess what?
I said no.
Because I am learning how to define my own boundaries.
When you say no to someone, you're actually saying yes to yourself.
As much I would love to give to everyone, I just can’t.
It’s not realistic as I also need to protect my own energy and space.
The lesson here is don’t let anyone step in your space unless you really want to.
Unless your heart says YES. (Trust me, you can feel it in your body)
Otherwise you will quickly find that takers drain your energy.
And that my friend, is not helping anyone.
Learning how to become smart about how you give.
So everyone can benefit from it.
You and the person receiving. ✨🫶
A no is not negative, it's actually positive... for you!
I thought for a long time that if I said no, I would either offend the person asking or it would be perceived as something negative.
On the contrary, think of it as a double-faced coin, that includes a 'no' and a 'yes'.
By saying no, think of the 'yes' behind it.
For example, by not going to xyz event, you might say yes to spending more time with your loved ones.
Once you have this perspective in mind, it becomes easier to stand out for what you really want.
Now, before giving an answer, I do these things:
see how my body reacts
take some time to reflect
be polite and respectful when I say 'no'
For example,
'Sorry it's a bit busy for me at the moment, I won't be able to commit'
→ showing to the other person that your schedule is tight and won't be able to make it.
'Can I come back to you later on this?'
→ this can allow you to think & and reflect before answering.
I hope that these examples and insights will be useful to you somehow. ☺️
Keep pushing 💪
Alya
PS: curious to hear your thoughts, how do you define your boundaries?
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Since you made it this far, here's a picture of me and Kaly ready to kick-off the weekend 😎
Alya & Kaly
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